The single best Harry Potter fan theory ever:
Ibyqrzbeg fgnlrq nyvir orpnhfr ur'q xvyyrq fvk crbcyr gb perngr fvk Ubepehkrf&zqnfu;gur qvnel, gur evat, gur ybpxrg, gur phc, gur qvnqrz, naq gur fanxr. Uneel fgnlrq nyvir orpnhfr fvk crbcyr tnir gurve yvirf gb fnir uvf&zqnfu;Wnzrf, Yvyl, Fvevhf, Qhzoyrqber, Crgre, naq Qbool. Ibyqrzbeg nyfb perngrq n friragu Ubepehk vafvqr Uneel, juvpu zrnag gung Uneel uvzfrys jnf xrrcvat uvz nyvir. Ohg gura va gur Sberfg, gur cvrpr bs Ibyqrzbeg vafvqr Uneel qvrq fb gung Uneel zvtug yvir. Va fubeg, Uneel vf Ibyqrzbeg'f friragu Ubepehk, ohg Ibyqrzbeg vf Uneel'f friragu fnpevsvpr, fb onfvpnyyl UBYL PENC.Vg npghnyyl rira unf grkghny fhccbeg:"V qba'g jnag nalbar ryfr gb gel naq uryc," Uneel fnvq ybhqyl, naq va gur gbgny fvyrapr uvf ibvpr pneevrq yvxr n gehzcrg pnyy. "Vg'f tbg gb or yvxr guvf. Vg'f tbg gb or zr."Ibyqrzbeg uvffrq."Cbggre qbrfa'g zrna gung," ur fnvq, uvf erq rlrf jvqr. "Gung vfa'g ubj ur jbexf, vf vg? Jub ner lbh tbvat gb hfr nf n fuvryq gbqnl, Cbggre?""Abobql," Uneel fnvq fvzcyl. "Gurer ner ab zber Ubepehkrf. Vg'f whfg lbh naq zr. Arvgure pna yvir juvyr gur bgure fheivirf, naq bar bs hf vf nobhg gb yrnir sbe tbbq...""Bar bs hf?" wrrerq Ibyqrzbeg, naq uvf jubyr obql jnf gnhg naq uvf erq rlrf fgnerq, n fanxr gung jnf nobhg gb fgevxr. "Lbh guvax vg jvyy or lbh, qb lbh, gur obl jub unf fheivirq ol nppvqrag, naq orpnhfr Qhzoyrqber jnf chyyvat gur fgevatf?""Nppvqrag, jnf vg, jura zl zbgure qvrq gb fnir zr?" nfxrq Uneel. Gurl jrer fgvyy zbivat fvqrjnlf, obgu bs gurz, va gung cresrpg pvepyr, znvagnvavat gur fnzr qvfgnapr sebz rnpu bgure, naq sbe Uneel ab snpr rkvfgrq ohg Ibyqrzbeg'f. "Nppvqrag, jura V qrpvqrq gb svtug va gung tenirlneq? Nppvqrag, gung V qvqa'g qrsraq zlfrys gbavtug, naq fgvyy fheivirq, naq erghearq gb svtug ntnva?""Nppvqragf!" fpernzrq Ibyqrzbeg, ohg fgvyy ur qvq abg fgevxr, naq gur jngpuvat pebjq jnf sebmra nf vs Crgevsvrq, naq bs gur uhaqerqf va gur Unyy, abobql frrzrq gb oerngur ohg gurl gjb. "Nppvqragf naq punapr naq gur snpg gung lbh pebhpurq naq faviryrq oruvaq gur fxvegf bs terngre zra naq jbzra, naq crezvggrq zr gb xvyy gurz sbe lbh!"&zqnfu;UC&gQU, 737-738, rzcunfvf zvar
This is why I love fandoms in general (and TV Tropes in particular). Well, this and the fact that people managed to guess that the girl in the photo in Gunnerkrigg Court was Oelauvyqe based only on this page. Nerds are so awesome.
posted by Martin Marks at 5:00 in the afternoon // two comments