Comments on entry #58577

On Trivial Pursuits

Monday the Twenty-Fifth of July, Twenty Eleven

Martin's recipe corner:

You will need:

  • insomnia
  • hunger
Directions:
  1. Go out with friends.
  2. Wake up with a hangover, because you're old.
  3. Sleep off and on until 2:30 PM in an effort to skip the hangover.
  4. Go to work on a Sunday and stay there until 9 PM finishing up the shop drawing you were hoping to have done Friday.
  5. Go home, goof off for a bit, and then realize there's no way you're going to sleep any time soon (see #3).
  6. Put on some good working-class music.
  7. Scramble three extremely delicious eggs with some milk (probably too much, but the runniness works) and salt and pepper (definitely too much, that's important).
  8. Fry some extremely delicious bacon and put it aside to drain.
  9. Start some extremely delicious bread toasting.
  10. Fry the screggies in the bacon fat. (Best sentence in the English language?)
  11. Butter the toast (again, too much butter is vital).
  12. Maneuver the toast, screggies, and bacon into a large, unwieldy, and extremely messy sandwich.
  13. Consume in approximately three bites.
  14. Moan in sheer animalistic satisfaction.
  15. Follow it up by drinking milk from the carton, because you're a bachelor, what do you care, it's not like you're expecting the Pope to stop by or anything.
  16. Repeat until satisfied or dead.
Vegan Alternative:
  1. Preparation is the same, but remove the bacon, eggs, butter, and milk.
  2. Enjoy your dry toast, you filthy hippie.

posted by Martin Marks at 1:23 at night // five comments

I now start every day with a sandwich involving an egg, pig, cheese and toast, because I can. I'm getting really good at it.

comment by Tim // Monday, the 25th of July, 2011, at 9:46 in the evening

comment by anonymous // Monday, the 25th of July, 2011, at 9:53 in the evening

I am imagining a bread roll, sliced in half, inside of which are stacked: an entire egg (raw, now crushed), a pig (pink, cartoonish), a wheel of cheese (artisanal), and a piece of toast (wheat, slightly burnt). It's a hell of a sandwich.

Also appreciated the vegan alternative.

Also, anonymous is me—I missed the tab key and hit enter or something.

comment by Moss // Monday, the 25th of July, 2011, at 9:56 in the evening

The vegan alternative made me laugh and laugh.

I am rubbish at making egg sandwiches, but I do appreciate egg and cheese sandwiches. Yum.

comment by Tori // Monday, the 25th of July, 2011, at 10:12 in the evening

The vegan alternative made me think toast was a good idea, so I put a couple of toaster waffles in and promptly forgot about them for two hours. Then I ate them anyway, feeling even more self-righteous and hippie-like for eating old toast.

comment by Julia // Monday, the 25th of July, 2011, at 10:42 in the evening

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