Trivial Pursuits
Ghotiheads, ghotiheads, roly poly ghotiheads...
Monday the Twenty-Sixth of November, Two Thousand and Seven
"The monster in the closet turned out to be a friend of mine, so now it's cool, we're tight, I mean we're hanging out like all the time."
Well, I spent last night in my new apartment, thus just barely justifying that November rent check. No bed yet, but my new mattress is fairly comfortable even on the floor. I even managed to get up in time for work, despite the fact that I set my clock twelve hours off (whether it's fast or slow is a question for the philosophers), thanks to the combined efforts of my biological clock and my neighbors, who are evidently partial to a little early morning delight. To each their own, I suppose.
Until I chase down Internet service, I won't be online much. Fortunately, I don't work for some evil corporation that monitors my Internet usage or anything.
mechanically posted by Martin Marks at 12:18 in the afternoon // two comments by:
Saturday the Twenty-Fourth of November, Two Thousand and Seven
Yes, I know about the clock on wheels. I fear the clock on wheels.
I was brainstorming ideas for extremely effective alarm clocks today. I really liked the idea of a bed that dropped vertically three or four feet, but even with good shock absorbers, I think durability might be a problem. (Also liability.) Besides, my own problem isn't so much getting up as staying up. So my next idea was an alarm clock with a sort of Turing test built in, so that it wouldn't go off until it was certain you were conscious. It could ask you random questions, like your grandmother's maiden name or the name of the street three blocks east of your house, or force you to solve a puzzle or do long division or something. This could work!
Okay, no, wait, I've got it. First of all, invent a working brain-machine interface. Done? Okay, now implant an alarm clock directly into someone's primary auditory cortex. (Kids—get your parent's permission first!) That way the alarm can shriek away to its heart's content without disturbing anyone else. Then you hook it up with gyroscopes so that it only turns off once the person sits upright. Or you could have it respond to tactile input so it would only turn off when the person gets in the shower. Man, I envision the dystopianest future ever.
inconsequentially posted by Martin Marks at 11:25 at night // comment? by:
I also like to think Ingvar Kamprad has a giant tax-emempt ice fortress hidden in the Swedish tundra.
I like to think that somewhere at IKEA headquarters there's someone who was specifically hired for their complete incompetence. It is this person's job to attempt to assemble IKEA furniture all day, on the theory that if Ten Thumb Hans can do it, anyone can. I doubt any of this is true.
abstemiously posted by Martin Marks at 10:41 in the evening // five comments by:
Thursday the Twenty-Second of November, Two Thousand and Seven
Two hours until you can think about Christmas.
I hope you all enjoyed my favorite holiday and spent some time in the company of people you like.
amatorially posted by Martin Marks at 9:58 in the evening // comment? by:
Wednesday the Twenty-First of November, Two Thousand and Seven
"A hundred dollars used to be more than enough..."
My options, apparently: This disgusts me, all of it. These very basic luxuries should not cost so much damn money! It looks like my best option might be the DSL, assuming the 15 Mb/s for $40 thing is neither a typo nor a lie (both very possible), but I don't want a damn landline phone. The only people who will ever call it will be trying to sell me things. Verizon and AT&T, as I understand it, are legally obligated to offer DSL without phone service for antitrust reasons, but a) neither serves the heart of downtown Baltimore City and b) they are not prohibited from charging more for bare DSL than for DSL with phone. This, this is why I twitch.
On the other hand, I do want cable TV, but I don't want to spend $51 bucks on it every damn month, and I don't think satellite (which is practically half the price) would be an option because I'm pretty sure my southwards line of sight from my fire escape is blocked. The absolute cheapest cable/internet/VoIP bundle through Comcast is $100/month. A hundred dollars a month! Do you have any idea how many one-dollar hookerbots that is? A hundred is how many!
Comcast doesn't even mention the $23 plan on their website, incidentally; I only came across it while playing with a Baltimore utility comparison website. I assume that means either I can't get it in the heart of downtown Baltimore City or they just really don't want people to know about it. Or both. I guess I'll make some calls on Friday, but until then, does anyone have any thoughts regarding my dilemma?
compulsively posted by Martin Marks at 10:07 in the evening // twelve comments by:
Tuesday the Twentieth of November, Two Thousand and Seven
Pressing Questions:
Okay, so there's Dr Spock and there's Mr Spock, right? But why wasn't the latter a doctor, too? I mean, he was the science officer, wasn't he? With a two-century lifespan, he couldn't spare a few years for a Ph.D.? Come to think about it, was anyone in Starfleet ever referred to as a non-medical doctor? Do terrestrial service academies give doctorates? On a scale of one to dork, where does this entry put me?
mechanically posted by Martin Marks at 10:08 in the evening // five comments by:
Monday the Nineteenth of November, Two Thousand and Seven
Lessing is moring.
Okay, so I've now read The Golden Notebook, and am giving The Making of the Representative for Planet 8 a try But after this, I think I'm done with Doris Lessing for now. She's a good writer, I'd say, but a novel like The Golden Notebook is very difficult to do well, so it sort of makes it hard to determine how good it actually is. I would have to call this a recommendation, I guess, but I wouldn't suggest The Golden Notebook to anyone with a history of depression.
I have to say, I like the fact that Lessing actually considers herself a science fiction author because of the Canopus in Argos series. Teach your kids it's not a dirty word, Nobel Prize winners!
playfully posted by Martin Marks at 9:56 in the evening // seven comments by:
Yeah, yeah.
They hurt me bad, but I eat pie
They hurt me bad, yeah I'm eatin' lots of pie
literally posted by Martin Marks at 4:37 in the afternoon // comment? by:
That's 152.4 millimeters for you metric types.
I feel about six inches outside of myself. Have done all day. The plans I'm trying to read feel like an incoherent jumble of lines and words. I blame it on the fact that they're playing some kind of Spanish version of "Unchained Melody" at an unholy volume down on the floor, but that's probably only a contributing factor.
heartily posted by Martin Marks at 12:57 in the afternoon // comment? by:
Sunday the Eighteenth of November, Two Thousand and Seven
In further pie-related news:
Oh, man, I made the CRAZY BESTEST apple-lingonberry pie today, and then I ATE IT.
passionately posted by Martin Marks at 5:14 in the afternoon // two comments by:
Friday the Sixteenth of November, Two Thousand and Seven
After all these years, Wikipedia still knows how to make me happy.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: List of people who have been pied.
venturesomely posted by Martin Marks at 10:25 in the evening // two comments by:
Wednesday the Fourteenth of November, Two Thousand and Seven
Man, I got a lot of power outlets.
The northeast corner of the living room.
I spent about an hour and a half measuring my new living room today. (Thankfully, BGE was very quick about giving me power, so I didn't have to do so in the dark.) What I have to show for it is the most ridiculously accurate SketchUp model I have ever created. The rationale, in theory, is that it will help me figure out how I want to furnish the place. The actual reason is that I am a dork.
The fireplace is totally real! I didn't realize that before. I don't think it would be a good idea to use it, mind you. Also, the colors are all off, and I forgot the lights over the mantel. Oh, and a phone jack. Ah well. Maybe tomorrow!
facetiously posted by Martin Marks at 11:58 at night // four comments by:
Tuesday the Thirteenth of November, Two Thousand and Seven
Woo!
Apt. 2F.
On my keyring I have: - my car key
- the key to my mother's house
- another very similar key (the back door?)
- some kind of mailbox key or something, I don't know
- an LED flashlight
And the keys to my new apartment. And, thanks to two of my various stepfamilies, I even have dishes!
But seriously, how did I visit the place twice without noticing the walk-in closet?
animatedly posted by Martin Marks at 10:41 in the evening // twelve comments by:
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