Robot Pirates of the Milky Way
Invasion of the Undead Space Nazis!
A screenplay, in progress, but not for public consumption...
Starbuck C-63, first mate on the pirate ship Rustbeard
It is the distant future, and mankind has been rendered all but extinct by its own creations. The WarBots and the Monkey-Bushi were both intended to be the greatest soldiers ever created. When the robots succumbed to a computer virus that made them think they were pirates and the genetically engineered monkeys used their ninjutsu skills against their own creators, humanity never stood a chance. Before humankind could even react, the monkeys and robots had slaughtered not just all the humans on Earth, but also every extraterrestrial colony on the charts.
Fortunately for humankind, there was one colony that isn't shown on any chart. Unfortunately, it was a penal colony for the surviving members of the 6th Reich, war criminals exiled to the distant Brunau Cluster after their defeat on Earth. Suddenly, these despised outcasts were the last hope for humanity. Over the next few centuries, a three-way power struggle between ninja monkeys, robot pirates, and Space Nazis raged. Finally, the 27th Reich was totally defeated by a united monkey-robot coalition. Humanity was, at last, extinct.
Or was it? Centuries later, a single Space Nazi has survived. Herr Doktor von Geisteskränk, the Reich's head of Occult Science, was so ineffectual during the war (his one achievement was somehow transplanting his brain into a bell jar) that he was spared and allowed to live in exile. Immune from the ravages of time, von Geisteskränk develops a technology that had eluded him during the war: the ability to raise the dead as zombies.
After defeating the Space Nazis, the Empire of the Ninja Monkeys and the Allied Robotic Raiders turned on each other. The resulting centuries-long war led to near-total destruction of both. At last, the most decorated captains on each side—Cap'n Montague Roboto of the A.R.R. Rustbeard and Captain Sarume Kapurettu of the N.M.S. Atobara—meet to sign a peace treaty. But distrust remains high on both sides, and von Geisteskränk has, unbeknownst to both sides, raised an undead army with the goal of destroying the treaty at all costs. Now Montague and Sarume are the only ones in the Universe who can stop him.
(Robot Pirates is more of a steam valve than a serious attempt at literature; this is the story I come back to when I need a break and want to work on something a bit silly.)
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